NFL Banishes Struggling Titans and Ravens to London for Week 6 Battle Royale

Meanwhile across the pond, Derrick Henry already dethroned Chuck III and has taken back his rightful crown. That was child's play. The real challenge lies ahead as we navigate end zone to red zone against a dirty ratbirds defense. As reported by our own Titans insider Wes Wisley, BaltNOmore leads the league in red zone defensive efficiency while the Titans… well… it’s no secret we're still stuck at first base... and no, that's not a baseball reference.  Our inability to finish off drives is almost as much of a dumpster fire as this city in which I currently, and reluctantly stand.  But trust me, nothing holds a candle to this horrible place. I hate it here.

The former Cleveland Browns certainly did not upgrade when they moved to Maryland, but at least they became relevant. The postseason battles in recent years between these two squads have rekindled the hatred these franchises hold for one another, while currently snowballing into a massive inter-division rivalry. We don’t like them, and they don’t like us. Period.

'Member that time Eddie George choke slammed the life out of Ray Lewis? 


How about this recent crowning moment in our home playoff loss history? 

This time around, the scene is different. Playing at the future home of the London Jaguars always adds an element of uncertainty. A “home game”, if you will. But there is no true home field advantage in this contest. Considering most of the fans in attendance will still be figuring out how Fútbol Americano is played, and all 32 team jerseys will be represented in the crowd, how could there be a home team? But we know the 200+ traveling with our pals "Two-Tone Blue Nation" will be getting rowdy AF so be sure to break out those annoying vuvuzelas at the tailgate. They could double as a bird call during huntin’ season - I don’t think a raven is too tasty, though.

After being outplayed by Kenny “Kitten Mittens” Pickett, (seriously, his hands are tiny, look it up) Lamar Jackson will be helming an offense almost as unstable as the Titans’ O line. An offensive outburst leading to a 28-3 win followed up by a seven point road loss against a heated division rival… hmm… all of this sounds just a little too familiar.


The parallels of these two teams over the last two weeks are staggering. To be fair, however, the vaunted Ravens defense did have to endure future Hall of Fame OC, Matt Canada, while getting scorched for 17. You’re telling me 10 points ain’t enough? Tennessee apparently figures it is most weeks, too. All ya need is just one touchdown; a hell of a strategy.

To be honest, no one knows which Titans or Ravens team will show up. Will it be an offensive explosion between two bitter enemies sending the crowd into a fury of excitement or a defensive snooze fest putting them to sleep? I suppose that’s all part of the fun, right? Hey, at least BaltNOmore is consistent! This city is always trash, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and 366 on leap year. If you need me, I’ll be at Fort McHenry with Burks, Molden, and Gifford, curled up in a ball, peering out across the radioactive Chesapeake Bay wishing, hoping... praying I can come home soon. I do not know why I do such things to myself.