WRITTEN BY: MILES HARRINGTON
Alright ID10Ts, full send! In a season filled with more lows than highs, I'm now craving chaos and earthquakes, and what better team to unleash it upon than the Seahawks. It's been 15 years since my last visit to the Emerald City, and let me tell you, they've worked some wizardry on this place since I last strolled down the GD yellow brick road here. As much as our 2023 was an unmitigated disaster, Seattle takes it to another level.
Home to the northern tip of the West Coast's picturesque Tent City, Seattle obsesses over its sports teams. The Sounders, the Mariners, and, of course, the 7-7 Peehawks are everything they hope, wish, and dream to be—completely average. But, you know, at least the SuperSonics are undefeated since 2008. As Hawks Coach Jack Reilly would say, this city isn't a has-been, it's a never-was.
Despite Drew Lock's late-game heroics against the formerly mighty Eagles, Pete Carroll bluntly declared that he still sucks, tossing him like that stanky fish over at Pike Place Market in favor of Geno Smith. Pete, stop throwing things! We all know how that ends for you.
With Tanny grabbing the start, Tim Kelly better treat this game like the 1998 Bourbon Bowl and not hold anything back. The season is over, so cause some damn havoc. Run wild, get fancy, call in the illustrious Annexation of Puerto Rico for all I care. Reward your fans that still come out to Nissan Colosseum by giving them a show you’ve perpetually failed to put on for the overwhelming majority of the year.
We've got more fatigue than a college kid during finals week from this season's trainwreck. That win in Miami? A sinister tease, leaving us hopeful. But hey, no need to eat our fingernails any longer. The writing's on the wall. I've reached my breaking point with these road trips this season; they're only fun when we win. The abuse from opposing fan bases, be it emotional, physical, or psychological, is either toughening me up for the 2024 roadies or condemning me to a lifetime of trauma that my future kids will inherit. Apologies in advance, kiddos, you might not even exist if TI drives me into the loony bin.
If the Titans decide to embrace the same level of insanity as I have, maybe we'll put up a fight. The NFL standings are already a complete mess, so why the hell not contribute to the chaos?
Prediction: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"and that’s the bottom line, behind enemy lines"
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
After being picked up off waivers from his home state of Indiana, Miles Harrington landed at the Titans Idiot Nation as their official hired gun. Miles’ hobbies include exotic travel to the most dangerous corners of the earth, humiliating Colts fans, and exclusively dating women with intel on fantasy sleepers. Miles is so sports-obsessed that his family nearly had him committed. But the judge was so impressed with his work at The Pamphleteer that she granted him full immunity. Head on over to his page to see for yourself.Check Out Some Other Stories From Titans Idiot Nation
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