Titans Inexplicably Return for Florida Trifecta

Alright ID10Ts, in the immortal words of Bob Slydell, “What would ya say ya do here?” With a 1 in 1000 chance to make the postseason, our Titans appear poised to begin vacation early in South Beach after MNF. I’m not sure if the NFL scheduling gods are playing head games, but three beatdowns in the male genitalia of America in one season is absolutely brutal. It was simpler times when the Bucs, Jagoffs, and Fins position in the standings reflected where they are on the map - at the bottom.

One matchup being drastically overlooked this week is the battle of the Mikes: Mike Vrabel vs. Mike McDaniel. I’m not talking X’s and O’s or in-game decisions that would determine a close contest (in our dreams). I mean, just look at these two human beings … How the hell are they even the same species? We got Vrabel at 6’4, 260 doing what he did in the NFL against a below-average ball boy. I do not comprehend how or why McDaniel has had success in this league.

Say what we will about the Fins on the struggle bus playing top-tier teams, the physics of this time-space continuum places them at 9-3 and we, on the other side of the universe, SUCK. Let’s be real, their Mike could have been a stand-in for Rick Moranis in Spaceballs. If anyone has the quirky stature and swag of Dark Helmet, it’s him. How he got to this level in this league is beyond me.

Yet, one thing I will say is the dude has the audacity. Because of him, you won’t find me in a club down here. No, sir! If you haven’t heard the story of how he copped his bride, peep this article below. -> Mike McDaniel tells real story of meeting wife after Al Michaels made him sound like ‘kind of a d-bag’  

Trey Songz got nuttin’ on this Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

In time, the man will be exposed for what he is as a head coach, but for now, he can ride the wave of weapons in Jaylen Waddle and soon-to-be Mr. 2000, Tyreek Hill (lot of official titles in Miami, huh). Hell, TI could lead this team, and they’d still be in first in the AFC East. He wouldn’t last long though, considering his pasty ass would get torched by the sun within minutes.

No one likes to witness someone taking hits like that, but those contusions will likely catch up with him in about a decade. Trust me, I understand—I've had my fair share, six to be exact. Wondering why I'm like this? Well, probably seven or eight after enduring this harrowing head banging filled 2023 campaign.

There was never any doubt that Tag wouldn’t go unscathed, no matter how solid that Phins offensive line is. Just look at this photo. The sharks were smelling fin-blood in New York. If Idiot Nation wants to see a stunner tonight, Big Jeff and Denico are going to have to take an arm, each.

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