Titans Look to Shipwreck Bucs in A City By A Bay

One thing has been made quite clear by their football fan base: the ghost pirate of Tomithy Brady will haunt this town for millenniums to come. Considering the only Buc jerseys I’ve seen thus far are TB12 and Gronk, I shocked an entire bar of Lightning fans (and three Devil Rays enthusiasts) when I informed them Faker Mayfield was now THE guy. They clearly don’t know what’s going on here. Hard to lay blame on them, though, when they basically experience summer year-round. Such an undeserving fan base – smdh.

Tampa has dropped four in a row (giving us hope for a road win, finally... maybe... please?) and these Floridians could not seem any less bothered. These folks are probably still too busy Googling 'Florida Man' followed by their birthday. Seriously, try it. I'll wait.... The results are wild.

On the field, the Buccaneers have zero concept of complementary football. We may have FINALLY found an opponent more bipolar than us. The offense shows up; the defense is nowhere to be found. The defense balls out; their quarterback remembers, 'Oh yeah, I'm Baker Mayfield.' However, unlike us, their entire city doesn't suffer through perennial hell with their team. These jamokes stumble into championship after championship, while somehow still having a baseball team. Damn, this city is more spoiled than a teen sitting front row at a TSwift concert a week after totaling her brand new Mercedes.

This afternoon, Will Levis gets to put loddy doddy everybody in their place. Billy Jeans will have the Bucs DBs on the run like Jack Sparrow frantically fleeing the mob on the shores of Jamaica. This time, however, the spears will be launched from Levis' arm. The Tampa defensive backfield was eyed as a bright spot for 2023, led by Antoine Winfield, but they've completely collapsed, as evidenced by giving up the rookie passing yards record a week ago. The corners have been so underwhelming that I had to look up who the hell Christian Izien even was. I mean, seriously... have YOU heard of the guy? If Mayo Man can find his gaps, he’ll go for a cool 350+ through the sky.

Cigar City has been a blast and the people here are pretty chill. Houston, Indy, and Jax should take note. NFC South opposing fans are far more hospitable. TI, pack up the boys! Forget Disney World, we're heading to the Tampa Gasparilla Pirate Festival in January!! 

 

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