WRITTEN BY: MILES HARRINGTON
Alright ID10Ts, this is it! While it might mark the end of an era for the one, true King in two-toned blue, today's celebration is, for the sake of auld lang syne, a moment to cherish. Alongside the likes of Earl, George, and CJ2K, Derrick Henry will undoubtedly reside on the Titans’ Mount Olympus of Running Backs for all eternity. If another planet is discovered within our Sun’s realm, scientists may have no choice but to consider naming the celestial sphere after this monstrous Athenian specimen. And as for Ryan Tannehill… thanks and good luck, I guess?
Coming into week 18, the Tennessee Titans are 0-0. One game is all that matters. Nothing, and I mean nothing, would kick off my 2024 better than exposing the list of frauds on the Jagoffs roster, robbing them of their manhood, and sending them packing to their home away from home, Epstein Island. All the preseason talk from their gutter-guzzling fanbase - led by convicted sex offender Samuel Arthur Thompson - about securing the one seed is now a faint, yet hysterical memory. This afternoon they will be fighting, scratching, and clawing for their postseason lives. Spoiler Alert: It was NEVER the Jags. 
Some folks have proclaimed blonde bombshell, Spice Girl wannabe, Trevor Lawrence, is still deciphering if football is all that important to him. In most playoff bubble situations, field generals command to rally their troops. As of now, we’re still playing a wait-and-see game with this young hopper. Considering shoulder injuries are contagious in Jackalville, and while Nashville native CJ Beathard is feeling the pain too, I suspect TL will reluctantly take it from under center with the season on the line.
Prior to 2023, it had been a while since the Titans had hosted a “meaningless game” for themselves. It’s uncharted waters for this organization and the results of the last couple weeks show this team has not responded well. Hell, maybe the league really is scripted and these boys have executed the NFL’s plan flawlessly. Can we really know for sure? Nevertheless, without concrete evidence, I’ll presume we have just continued to be booty all on our own accords. You’re welcome, Houston.
I guess in this case - since we have nothing else right now - six wins is GREAT if it means embarrassing David Cislo and the rest of his rat-infested pack of Jagoffs this afternoon. With a Steelers’ win last night, a Jax loss today means their season is O-V-A! A little Sunday with a cherry on top could go a long ways to mask our misery…
Oh and I don’t just mean ruining the Jagoffs year. Rumors are swirling that today could be the day Denver Batdad and a thong clad Jaxson de Ville are exposed alongside their best gal pal Ghislaine Maxwell. I think both will have to seek refuge in the bat cave till September. No playoffs this season, boys!
Prediction: We’re dragging the Jagholes into oblivion with us.
"and that’s the bottom line, behind enemy lines"
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
After being picked up off waivers from his home state of Indiana, Miles Harrington landed at the Titans Idiot Nation as their official hired gun. Miles’ hobbies include exotic travel to the most dangerous corners of the earth, humiliating Colts fans, and exclusively dating women with intel on fantasy sleepers. Miles is so sports-obsessed that his family nearly had him committed. But the judge was so impressed with his work at The Pamphleteer that she granted him full immunity. Head on over to his page to see for yourself.Check Out Some Other Stories From Titans Idiot Nation
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