Well, here we are, folks. The new era of Titans football has been ushered in, and so far, so good. The franchise has turned the keys over to the 33rd overall pick in the 2023 NFL Draft, William Donovan Levis, AKA Billy Jeans. Grab yourself a raw banana, a dollop of mayo for your coffee, and sit down to enjoy this week's edition of 'The Good, The Bad & The WTFugly.
THE GOOD
BILLY JEANS SZN HAS ARRIVED
Pop quiz, hot shot. Who's the only QB in NFL history to throw for over 500 yards, with four passing touchdowns, while throwing one or fewer interceptions? I'll give you a hint. He eats unpeeled bananas and puts mayo in his coffee. Vols fans hate him because his last name isn't Hooker. That's right, folks, Billy Jeans himself, William Levis. Even though he failed to pull off the improbable win on the road last Thursday against the Steelers, his poise in the pocket and command of the offense was enough to make Mike Vrabel throw in the Tanny towel. Is it too early to anoint the man the future face of our franchise? Of course. But is it too early to get excited about the future possibilities? Not at all.
HENRY, HENRY, HENRY, HENRY
Derrick Henry is the closest thing we've ever seen to a real-life, breathing superhero. He's like the Voltron of comic book characters, built like Colossus, with speed rivaling that of the Flash and superhuman strength like Bane. The way he maneuvers showcases the agility of Daredevil, and his stiff arms are as inevitable and devastating as a snap from Thanos. His offseason workouts never fail to amaze and inspire us. In the recent game, they specifically translated to him stretching across the goal line for a much-needed touchdown, putting the Titans ahead by three. Although we didn't escape Steeltown with the win, you can't say the King didn't do his part with over 100 total yards and a TD. If he could have gotten a couple more touches down the stretch, the outcome might have been different.
THE RETURN TO FULTON COUNTY JAIL
I know, I know... we've all given him a lot of grief. But last Thursday, Fulton County Jail was on lockdown as Kristian Fulton was targeted seven times, only allowing 11 total yards, including holding Steelers stud George Pickens to a measly two catches for -1 yards. Yep, you read that right. -1 yards. Lately, the kid has been turning a corner and regaining his once-thought-to-be lockdown form. Am I saying Fulton County Jail is back in business? Not necessarily... but I'm hoping that the kid can build on his performance, and things only go up from here. We want him to succeed. He needs to succeed. His payday depends on him more than it depends on us, so let's all work together for the rest of the year, okay?
KYLE PHILLIPS
Hold up... wait a second. Who's that white guy out on the field catching passes? Did Mason Kinsey weasel his way back into the starting lineup yet again? Great. Who's hurt now?
Lifts sunglasses, springs to my feet, spills my drink
"Holy shit, that's Kyle Phillips, and he just caught a second pass."
Will Levis has done what no Titans QB has done before, and that's get Kyle Phillips involved. Not just involved... he was our LEADING RECEIVER! I'm sure Ryan Tannehill was watching Phillips moving all around the field like... "Come on, man, are you kidding me?" Anyhow, I'm hoping that he and Levis have a connection established from camp and preseason, and that we can finally build this kid into exactly who we all thought we were drafting. But if I see him drop one more punt return, I'm coming down to the field myself and returning the damn kicks myself.
THE BAD
YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?
Come on, y'all. Is this some kind of game to you? I mean, it is a game, but y'all need to stop playing. Or start playing, I guess. Either way, YOU GET MY DAMN POINT. Y'all have got to do better. How TannyTrill has withstood the blunt force trauma this patched-up group of misfits has allowed to be inflicted upon him behooves me. He's lucky that he's been relegated to backup just for the sake of being able to rehab at his own pace and, more importantly, SURVIVE. Good luck, Will Da Trill. You're gonna need a little extra mayo my man.
PRETTY BLAND KELLY
Let's clear a spot for the elephant in the room. Timmy!! Listen, bud, none of us are perfect. But three runs in a row down the stretch? This ain't Madden. This ain't Tecmo Bowl. Derrick Henry is not 8-bit Bo Jackson. When the kid is slinging it all over the field, you keep slinging it all over the field. A couple more pass plays, a couple more run plays at the RIGHT TIME, and the King is walking in to seal that game instead of placing it all on the rookie's shoulders. You know it. I know it. The entire city of Pittsburgh knows it. Kenny 'Kitty Mittens' Pickett knows it. (Shout out to our own Miles Harrington). They all know they were extremely lucky to head home victorious. Game ball: Tim Kelly. Asking a rookie QB to pass the ball 39 times on the road against the Steelers' ferocious front four in only his second career start is a recipe for an L eight days a week.
TWO FOR NONE
2-4-1's are cool, whether it's a deal on a cool t-shirt or a fresh pair of shoes, or maybe it's happy hour and you're out with your best buds turning a couple back. Well, the Titans' defense had a 2-4 of their own last Thursday, but not the kind you want to see, as they only produced two hits on Kenny Pickett, accounting for ZERO sacks. Without a consistent pass rush, our offense is only going to take us so far. After recording six sacks a week before against the Atlanta Falcons, not being able to disrupt the Steelers' signal caller was a head-scratcher. If you can't get hits on the QB, you very rarely will win a game. The Titans were fortunate enough to be in a spot to steal the victory in the end
THE WTFUGLY??!!
ANDRE DILLARD IS A HEAPING DISASTER
Dennis Daley, if you're reading this, please come back. We need you now more than ever. You're familiar with the playbook. You're used to holding doors open for folks around Nissan Stadium already, so why not come back to Tennessee? Seriously though, how hard is it for a gigantic human being to block another gigantic human being from reaching the other gigantic human being and disrupting the play? It seems simple, right? Apparently, it's impossible because we just can't seem to get it right. Let's check in with our own favorite insider, Wes Wisley, to see how our most recent free-agent standout, Andre Dillard, is doing on the season. (These numbers were from November 3rd)
#Titans LT Andre Dillard leads the NFL in:
— Wes on Broadway (@TitansStats) November 3, 2023
•Pressures Allowed - 34
•QB Hits Allowed - 9
•Sacks Allowed - 8
44 Tackles have more pass blocking snaps
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
TI is the brains behind the "Titans Idiot Nation" and an avid sports fanatic and pop culture enthusiast who is unhealthily obsessed with football, especially the NFL. When he's not yelling at his TV, he enjoys running, spending time with his family and of course, yelling at his TV.Check Out Some Other Stories From Titans Idiot Nation
