The Good, The Bad & The WTFugly : WEEK 1

The Good, The Bad & The WTFugly : WEEK 1

WRITTEN BY: T.I.

New Year, New Coach, New Players, Same Ol' Titans. Or are they? Let’s check in with our fearless leader and figure out what the hell is going on in this first edition of The Good, The Bad & The WTFugly—or as the kids are calling it these days, #GBWTF.

THE GOOD

TONY, TONY, TONY
When we bid farewell to our King as he embarked on his journey to join the Baltimore Ratbirds—oops, I mean Criminals—it was clear the Titans were experiencing a bigger identity crisis than Castor Troy and Sean Archer in John Woo's 1997 classic Face/Off. (If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and hit pause on this article. Grab some popcorn because it's about two arch-nemeses who have their faces surgically swapped. Trust me, you're in for a wild ride.)


Exit Derrick Henry. Enter Tony Pollard. In his Titans debut, the former Cowboy racked up 94 total yards and a touchdown, all while averaging an impressive 5.1 YPC. Pollard may not have the same muscle mass we've grown accustomed to in our running backs, but his blend of speed, strength, and shiftiness (that's a word, right?) is a refreshing addition to the 2024 Tennessee Titans. Sure, I could’ve gone with "agility," but who can resist some quality alliteration?

CHIG GETS A BIRTHDAY TUDDIE
The birthday boy, Chigoziem Charlton Okonkwo... yeah, you read that right—his middle name is "Charlton" somehow. I’m just as confused as you are, but let’s move on. Long story short, Chig finally found the end zone after weeks of waiting. I’d imagine birthday touchdowns rank pretty high on his list of acceptable gifts—right up there with birthday sex. And maybe a Sony Playstation with NCAA 24... okay, that last one might just be me.

WE LOVE THAT BIG TITANS D
We’ve all been craving the return of that dominant Titans defense, and on Sunday in Chicago, they delivered. The defense held the Bears to just three field goals and a two-point conversion. Sure, the Titans lost the game, but you can’t pin that on the defense. When a blocked punt and an interception both get taken back for touchdowns, well, you're going to have a bad time.

The silver lining of this epic second-half collapse? By the end of Sunday’s games, we boasted the number one overall defense in the NFL. They say defense wins championships, right? AMIRITE???


T' SWEAT BRINGING THAT T-PAIN
T'Vondre Sweat was a controversial pick among Titans fans, with concerns about his immaturity and conditioning. But forget all that; this guy is here to make an impact and disrupt opposing QBs. Sure, Big Jeff was double- and triple-teamed all afternoon, which allowed T'Vondre to wreak havoc. But as teams adjust their focus, Big Jeff will only get more opportunities to dominate and make life miserable for opposing offenses.


THE BAD

SECOND HALF COLLAPSE
How do you go up 17 points and then let a team run back 24 unanswered, especially when their rookie QB only accounts for two total offensive points? Oh, right—we’re the Titans. That’s exactly the kind of ridiculous nonsense we specialize in.

BLOCKED PUNT DEJA VU
Can we please protect Ryan Stonehouse? On the blocked punt, I counted 17 Bears players, the waterboy, and even a few trainers—but not one Tennessee Titan to be found. Well, except for Ryan Stonehouse, who I'm sure was having PTSD flashbacks of nearly getting his leg ripped off last season. I'm not going to say that the blocked punt returned for a touchdown was the turning point in the game and the catalyst the Bears needed to wake up, but it was exactly that—the turning point and catalyst they needed to wake up.

OFFENSIVE LIES
I thought we improved the offensive line from top to bottom? I’ll agree that Levis was holding on to the ball a little too long, but between him running for his life and the sacks, it’s clear we still have some serious leakage. With 12 pressures allowed across the board, the Titans have a lot of work to do up front. I know it’s only Week 1, but we better slap some Flex Tape on that baby before we face the big boys of the New York Jets.


San Fran may have embarrassed them live on Monday Night Football, but our Titans have to find a way to control the clock and move the ball, or it's going to be a long afternoon watching a pissed-off Aaron Rodgers dissect our defense like a frog in biology class. (Do kids still dissect frogs in school, or is that offensive to the ones still hopping around? It's 2024—I don't even know how the world works anymore.)

ROOKIE PLAYCALLING
Brian Callahan was quoted after the game saying, "We could have punted on first down every time and probably ended up winning the game." Yooooo, that's not the kind of thing you say at your post-game presser after your first official L as a head coach in the National Football League. Just for a bit of clarity, Brian, you are the one calling the plays here, correct? Ok, good. Now that we've got that cleared up, can you explain to me why Tony Pollard only had four carries in the second half? Can you also explain why DHop was out there as a decoy when literally everyone in Chicago knew he wasn’t going to be involved? I mean, I may only have seven fantasy football championships over the last 14 years, but even I know that was not a smart play.


THE WTFUGLY??!!

Hey Will... let's not do these types of things anymore, ok?

BILLY JEANS BAD DAY
Ever seen someone shoot an underhanded granny shot in basketball? Maybe it's during a game of HORSE or just some trick shots for fun. It’s entertaining and all when you're on a basketball court. But when you try that kind of playground-style play on a professional football field, it rarely ends well. On Sunday, Billy Jeans went full Billy Hoyle (White Men Can't Jump anybody?) and ended up with what’s likely to be one of the worst interceptions of his career. Sure, he's got a long career ahead, but man, that was rough. Like WTF rough? I’ll go out on a limb and guarantee we’ll never see a play quite like that again or I'm climbing back up to the ledge no matter how damn shoddy the WiFi is atop the Batman building.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

TI is the brains behind both the "Titans Idiot Nation" and "Sports Idiot Nation" as well as an avid sports fanatic and pop culture enthusiast who is unhealthily obsessed with football, especially the NFL. When he's not yelling at his TV, he enjoys running, spending time with his family, and of course, yelling at his TV  while watching the Tennessee Titans.

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