Refreshed Titans Try Not To Suck Again Versus Bipolar Colts

WRITTEN BY: MILES HARRINGTON

Welcome back, ID10Ts. Two straight weeks without a loss? Feels almost wrong—kind of depressing not to be depressed. Honestly, it's confusing. Did we really put up 31 points?! Early bye weeks will mess with a man who's used to the mental, emotional, and occasional physical pain (be it from a crushed beer can or a 2x4 to the skull). But hey, we’re not suffering alone in the division. In solidarity, we share this strange feeling with some of the folks we hate the most... Enter the Jabronie Ponies.

A team as carefree and reckless as the Two Tone Blue, the Titans and Colts are neck and neck when it comes to meme-worthy mishaps. Free Agent Dallas Flowers’ Superman stretch might have just outdone Willy Memes' Week 2 disaster against the Jets. Either way, don’t be shocked if Flowers lands on the Titans’ roster before the season’s over. He’s got that "Tennessee Pride" written all over him.

Meanwhile, Indy’s QB situation is pure comedy. Old man Flacco is out here proving that geriatric quarterbacks are more dependable than AR-15, whose arm seems as fragile as glass and has the recoil of a Pez dispenser. We can relate... maybe a little too well. Picture me now, thinking about the Levis cry-face meme. Please, just stay on the bench, man. For everyone's sake.

As the Colts head south, TI voluntold me to make my way back to the wasteland that is my native Indiana. It’s a two-for-one deal since my Hoosier sister’s birthday was last week. We keep her around because, like the rest of us, she despises the Dolts. A quick pit stop—sorry, "shit stop"—in Indy was nothing short of a nightmare. Some old college buddies (yes, they’re Cults fans) suggested we hit up The Garage on Mass Ave. It’s basically a glorified food court for hipsters and grifters.

The food was decent, I’ll give 'em that, but the ride back to Middle Tennessee? Not so much. Every little town from Waverly, to Banta, to Martintucky, and Bloomington got treated to me praying to the porcelain gods. I swear they’re poisoning us! Doesn’t matter how long you’ve known an Indy fan—they’ll still try to take you out during divisional week.

Our boys in two tone blue will need more than stable stomachs, and play on the field, to claim two straight dubs and get the wheels back on the rails after an abysmal start. However, as TI aka Mr. 30,000 would say, 14-3 is still a respectable record. HA! Okay, let’s go with that mentality. The only way we get there is by being 2-3 after Week 6. Ladies and gentlemen, we don’t need to go into keys to success for this one because it’s simple. Will Levis, your actions this season have been “Levistating” and truly unbecoming of an NFL Starting QB. Don’t suck and we win. Get it? Got it? Good… we’ll see.

Prediction: Titans 30 (the magic number), Cults 29 

"and that’s the bottom line, behind enemy lines"

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

After being picked up off waivers from his home state of Indiana, Miles Harrington landed at the Titans Idiot Nation as their official hired gun. Miles’ hobbies include exotic travel to the most dangerous corners of the earth, humiliating Colts fans, and exclusively dating women with intel on fantasy sleepers. Miles is so sports-obsessed that his family nearly had him committed. But the judge was so impressed with his dedication to SINNING that she granted him full immunity. Head on over to Sports Idiot Nation to see for yourself.