Titans Attempt Football Again, Unfortunately

WRITTEN BY: MILES HARRINGTON

ID10Ts, I'm feeling hopeless and heartless at this point, which makes me blend right in here in Massachusetts. Why keep making these pointless trips when we're sitting at 1-6, you ask? Well, for one, it spares me from having to witness the absolute disaster waiting to unfold at Nissan Stadium later today. Regardless of who wins this pillow fight, it's going to be a total mess.

Since nothing ever happens in Foxborough, I came to Boston instead, lying down in these chaotic streets, half-hoping to get run over by a 45-year-old single woman in her ‘06 Prius. With the way these A-Hole drivers are, it shouldn’t be too hard. If you’ve been to Beantown, you know exactly what I mean.

But I guess, much like this Titans season, life’s a marathon, not a sprint—so I’ll hold on and hope for better days back in Nashville.

However, it’s a real pressure cooker this far Northeast. The only thing I like about this city is the opportunity to swim in a vat of Sam Adams so I can drown my sorrows away.

Back home, there's technically a football game happening. Some might hesitate to even call it “football,” but hey, these stats will officially go down in the anals—sorry, annals—of NFL history, for better or worse. New England's riding high on a season-best one-game winning streak from last week’s showdown against the turbineless Jets, though it came at a minor price. Their rookie QB, Drake Maye—a guy few actually care about—got clobbered after a stellar 3-for-6 performance that Pats fans are weirdly hyped about. Apparently, he's been cleared to play—by the same league that keeps letting Tua back on the field, no less.

The sad thing is, Jacoby really might be the best quarterback on either of these rosters. Even Mac Jones could start for either of these tea—actually, scratch that. That’s probably going a bit too far. Not even Ran would cook up a trade disaster like that. Not trying to give anyone ideas here.

Perhaps most baffling of all is Vegas having the audacity to favor the Titans by 3.5 points. Don’t toy with us like that. We don’t even have faith in our own team. I checked the schedule again, and yep—still no sign of Carolina. At this rate, 1-16 feels entirely doable. Really, only the Jagoffs stand between us and our NFL Draft destiny in Lambeau Field next April.

Prediction: 1-7 Record (Who Cares About the Score?)

"and that’s the bottom line, behind enemy lines"

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

After being picked up off waivers from his home state of Indiana, Miles Harrington landed at the Titans Idiot Nation as their official hired gun. Miles’ hobbies include exotic travel to the most dangerous corners of the earth, humiliating Colts fans, and exclusively dating women with intel on fantasy sleepers. Miles is so sports-obsessed that his family nearly had him committed. But the judge was so impressed with his dedication to SINNING that she granted him full immunity. Head on over to Sports Idiot Nation to see for yourself.